Bethany blogs at The Arched Eyebrow. She is a good friend of mine, and a daily inspiration (also hopefully my future wife). I hope you enjoy this amazing post she put together for you all! Also, she hasn't asked me to do this but it would be super rad if you could vote for her blog in the Cosmo Blog Awards in the student blog category. Come on, she deserves it! - Claire xo
In fashion, as in life, the world revolves around people telling other people what to do. In fashion, as in life, the people that tend to get told what to do are fat people. Chubby girls like me are on the receiving end of ‘well-meaning’ ‘fashion’ ‘advice’ far more often than I’d like to acknowledge, and to be frank, a lot of the time it’s absolute balls. So I’m here to bust the myths that every fun-crushing, confidence-starving feature on DRESSING FOR YOUR BODY SHAPE!!!! have been shoving down our well-fed throats since time immemorial.
Apparently if you have any semblance of a padded hourglass figure you should be wiggling around your respective place of work or education in an ensemble that would put Joan Holloway to shame. You should never even think about committing the heinous offence of wearing loose-fitting clothes. But what if you like the odd loose garment? What then? WEAR THEM! This is one of my new favourite outfits, especially for my forecasted ‘gothic autumn’. Saying that baggy clothes lead people to believe you have no shape implies that every member of the population possesses a power of imagination no greater than the assumption that one’s body shape is literally represented by their clothes. Like a snap-on outfit for a doll. I’m going to credit the human race and its optical abilities with greater powers than that. Also, it looks good.
NO STRIPES! EVER!
Ha, you fools! If I never wore stripes I’d never wear lovely clothes like this Primark dress or this Marc by Marc Jacobs coatigan. And aren’t they divine? And don’t you still, even in the presence of stripes, understand that my body is only the size it is, no more, no less? Can you accept that your eyes can accurately sense size, shape and scale, or are you still going to tell me that YOUR EYES ARE DRAWN OUTWARDS and IT ADDS AT LEAST TWO DRESS SIZES? Oh well, if you are, then that’s fine. Because the clothes are still beauteous and my body’s still super cool.
SMALL PRINTS ARE THE DEVIL INCARNATE!
Nah, Nadine Dorries is the devil incarnate. Small prints are just nice to look at and pretty to wear. How sweet are those stars? How fierce is that leopard print? I would be so much less happy if I were a person that denies myself the chance to wear things on the grounds that I once heard I shouldn’t wear them, and never went anywhere near stars and leopards and florals and polka dots and all the rest of it.
NO TIERS! NO RUFFLES!
OH ARE YOU SERIOUS? But look at how freakin’ great that dress is. I’m wearing swathes of material, there are ruffles and frills and tiers all over the shop and yet, I’m still standing. There’s nothing I love more than swishing around a dancefloor in a voluminous maxi dress, and besides, there’s something super romantic about loads of puffs and frills and layers. And don’t fat chicks deserve super romantic too?
I’m so grateful that simultaneously to me writing this, there is a sea-change in the perception of how fat girls should be dressing: this is embodied in the phrase FUCK FLATTERING. Flattering is just a sugar-coated way of saying ‘thinner’, and any sentient being knows that absolutely nothing you wear will make you look much more than 4lbs thinner, and anything that performs this task is probably no fun at all. Brights and glitter and prints and sequins and different lengths and textures and accessories are fun. Owning your look is fun. Walking down the street with a spring in your step is fun, not because you look the apparent 4lbs lighter, but because you would rather make your own choices about what you want to wear and how you want to wear it than let a sad, cynical narrow-minded someone tell you that because you’re fat you shouldn’t be seen within 40ft of a stripe.